Saturday, August 18, 2007

Moving and Waiting

So, we've been packing.

Thanks to our self-described minion Michi who carefully wrapped the antique dishes and squirreled away theology books and pictures on the piano.

While sorting through the paper dunes in my office I found a Henri Nouwen quote. It seems wildly appropriate to inwardly digest:

To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life.

So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, to, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God molds us according to God's love and not according to our fear.

The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control.

— Henri Nouwen

We have been unable to control much of anything lately. We haven't left town yet. We don't know what we will drive away in. The dogs don't have a home.

And yet, wonderful out of our control happenings are swirling. We were invited to a creative, progressive UCC church in Scottsdale to speak about our trip. My niece, Anna, and her cool Significant Other, Jake, are working to organize a fundraising party for us in Breckenridge, Colorado.

We long to be moving, beginning. And yet we are here. Forced to be present to the moment—to the watercolor sunset last night as we drove away in our rental car from yet another test drive of a vehicle. Alive right now—laughing ourselves silly over who knows what as the morning sun tickled us awake this morning. Caught in between the old and the future—still living in the rectory, but now it is mostly empty.

Oh, sure, there is plenty to fear, should I choose to dwell on it. But this morning I'm going to imagine instead that we are being held close and tight, that we aren't caught. That we are right where we need to be. Everything just right. I will stop flailing about. And be still. Let God define things. And let myself be molded by love. I will trust that new things will happen to us. New things far beyond our own imaginations.


tamie said...

I loved this post. It makes me happy. I like the thought of the two of you sort of rattling around in the rectory, like old angels that are being made new. Thank you for the quote too; it's appropriate to my own life, so thank you for bringing courage to others.

Myra said...

I just found out tonight about the incredible journey you are beginning. Thank you for doing this--it is so needed! May God be with you all the way.

Friends of JointheLiving said...

Thanks Tamie and Myra. Blessings back at ya. —CB