Tuesday, July 31, 2007

When it rains, it pours

Just kidding.
I'm addicted to to-do lists.

Usually, I love monsoon season. I love the season of rain. I love the way the desert soaks it all in-- how she knows how to survive in times of feast and famine by taking things as they come.

But lately, the rain has been driving me crazy. Because I have so much to do!

Whenever we see people, or someone calls to say 'hi', they always ask things like: "Have you found a vehicle yet?" "Is everything set for the wedding?" "Have you started packing yet?"

No, no, and no!

And time keeps on slipping into the future.

And every time I'm planning to run errands, it rains. And then the power goes out, so we can't even stay here and work. And I think maybe God is trying to tell me that I should just chill, but I don't want to chill, I want to get things done!

So yesterday, I ran the labyrinth in the rain. To try to remember what the desert teaches. And mostly I was just frantic and wet. But for a brief moment in the center, I realized that I carry the center with me everywhere. And that everything will probably be okay.

Then, I went home to work on my to-do list.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Great Wide Open

We go over the calendar each week at staff meeting, and so it came to my attention yesterday that I have nothing on my calendar after August 12th.

Freedom is a terrifying thing.

We do not have an ambulance. We do not have any car, actually. We do not even have the kind of plan I like to have, with timelines and to do lists and everything neat and orderly.

But there is great freedom in that.

And I have discovered that it is exactly what I need. Because even though there can be great sorrow and fear in openess, there can also be deep peace, and room for things we can't even imagine.

Rest assured, dear friends, that we will find a vehicle and will almost always know the next place we were going. but I'm giving up to-do lists indefinitely. because I need the room to breathe.